I haven't written in a while. I feel that these days all has been stripped from me. I applied to a few jobs and nothing yet. I mean I haven't got a clue as to what God is doing. But, I know that He's doing SOMETHING. I mean what is it that you want me to be here for? I asked this morning. There must be some purpose. I mean I'm not getting paid enough and it is hard to pay for all that I have to pay for. I am in the stone age right now. I can't tell these things to everyone because some people will speak negativity and you need to remove yourself from my life because I'm not hearing you. Others will just make fun of me while I am down and then others won't care. I keep this to myself and I pray to God knowing that He is ultimately the only one who cares and can bring me out. I read Psalms 17-18; and then chapter 20. It was like revelation all the way through. I mean my God, truly your servant David was dealing with frustration after frustration just like I am facing, but in the end he praised you and acknowledged you as the God who can bring him out of his mess. My goal is to pass the tests that I face with flying colors. I mean I'm human and so I will be frustrated and maybe even cry, but will make it. I refuse to fail. I go to school now and I am happy to attend where I am attending. Most people are like why didn't you attend POST which is closer to me. I actually wanted a different location. I have been in Long Island all of my life and it is time to move on. The desires and aspirations that I have are so beyond what I see right now. My phone is not the same, it has been purged out of some things that I didn't want to be purged. But, I should have written it somewhere else. There are some things that I am working on. But, no matter what it shall come to past. It is all new for me since I am not used to all of this. But, I know that I am in good standing because of the suffering that I now face. It is unfortunate but I am in good hands. I have stressed out and cried, but that just raised my blood pressure I'm sure and have given me plenty of headaches. I know that what I am praying about will come to past and will work in my favor. I am just passing through. All I can do is pray, read the Word, fast and seek God keeping my mind on Him for the perfect peace that He left for me. I miss all of the things that were once familiar to me but I know that I am shifting due to everything being stripped. I don't have all of the luxuries that you may now have, but at least I have what I need. I never go hungry, I can walk to and from work, travel to school, be able to get a great education and just have a great time with God. I can also actually do homework and study. I tell myself that it will get better and see myself in a whole other way than what I see right now. Sod, I am grateful for the trials because they are working on my faith. Don't give up and know the power that you have to overcome and speak the positive in your life if you don't like your current state. Let us be content but not complacent. I don't know how God is going to turn this storm around, but I am glad that He's in control.
God bless
NaturalGoddess <3
